THE GOOSE IS LOOSE: THE WEBSERIES

Knock Knock, who’s there? It’s Da Goose! Welcome to my webseries’ “Special Platinum Bonus Features” Edition. Here’s da low down on my show: I filmed it with one camera guy, that’s it. I did da rest, so if you’re a TV network looking for cheap content gimme a call, am I right? Let’s make some money! I got da looks, da style and da brains, okay? Alright, roll a fat bone and smoke it up, time to peek behind the curtain…

In da episode above we meet Da Goose, a former ’80s comedian, CIA cocaine dealer, and father. It’s like Sam Kinsion playing Ollie North in Silver Spoons. Pretty commercial, am I right? This episode sets up the story. There’s some funny sitcom back-and-forth with Goose Jr. (Alex Moore) and the Mexican Drug Cartel Lawyer (Gabe Pacheco). This is the real Modern Family, am I right? Here are some fun links on subject matter if you’re interested, read it to da kids!

Gary Webb: “Kill the Messenger”

Mexican “Zetas” Drug Cartel

 

“How many Robot’s does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero, Robots can see in the dark. Burn!”

Yeah, this episode is great. I really challenged myself and made some interesting discoveries during da journey that was da making of this web video. Also a seven foot bodyguard on a swing set is hilarious, am I right? This was a fun shoot even though we lost da light. My camera guy was good to move things along but I had to pay him in cheeseburgers instead of cash. (Sorry, man!) Again, if there’s any TV networks (no cable please, that place is a dead zone) I would love to do a “CHRIS THE ROBOT” merch campaign that makes KISS look like a indie band. Let’s do it all; costumes, toys, coffins etc. Da robots are coming and they’re going to rule, so make sure the shelves are all stocked up!

Oh, and here’s another fun link for the kiddies:

Stephen Hawking’s Robot Warning

 

Live from New York, it’s Da Goose show! This episode is pretty out there. If I had a real show, I’d do a lot of skits like this; goofin’ on comedy clubs and stuff. This is footage from a real show and we pulled an inside job on da crowd. Then Goose Jr. got lippy and I call homeland protection on him. Burn! Snitches get stitches and forced rectal feeding, am I right? Also, this episode touches on miscommunication between father and son, and how we are parents in da end. Pretty heavy stuff. Smoke da peace pipe and let it go, am I right?

“…and da cat’s in the cradle and da silver spoon…”

 

Episode 4 was a real fun shoot. It was filmed at da legendary 5 Pointz Graffiti buildings in Queens. It’s torn down now. Too cool for this world, I guess. Got have more room for condos and stuff, am I right? This episode show off my Black Ops skillz. I help out a open miker with my crack team of agitators, so it’s kinda like da Bay of Pigs meets The King of Comedy or something. If I had a network show, this would be da type of show I would do for sure. The music is by the awesome Vangelis. You da man Vangelis!

Fun Facts:

-I wrote the “Pooping Well” speech myself while I was watching Hoosiers on laserdisc.

-The “Inside Job” is inspired by Operation Northwoods.

 

Do you ‘shroom? This episode is about ‘shrooms, man. This was shot on a crummy apartment building in Bushwick, Brooklyn. Great view though, am I right? “Mr. Mushroom” is played by Yazan. Check out his songs, he rocks and rolls!

Anywho, this is episode is really about the power of psilocybin in da ‘shrooms to cure depression instead of toxic corporate pharmaceuticals. They melt away your ego and you’ll feel da love like a little baby. It’s pretty amazing from what I hear, am I right? The music is by a cool synthwave band called Starforce. Crank it man!

For a fun read, click on the link to check out a recent article in da NY Times on da subject matter.

 

Oh boy, this one is a doozy. Do you have a friend that’s always up da creek with his lady? This is my version of a “bromance”. Two bros working out da problems. I show up and my old comedy partner Jaco is havin’ some lady trouble so we bro out. If you work in Hollywood, this is another viable option. We could spin off Jacko or make the show about these two like Franco and Rogan… you know, how they made that one show with Arsenio and Sammo Hung after da Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker movie blew up? Remember? That’s Hollywood works, so send me a check and I’ll start writing it up. Da music is by Starforce and da legendary Billy Squire! Also lots of farts!

These guyz made a Fart Guitar app, WOW. USA! Way to go for it guyz!

 

BONUS VIDEO: Jaco’s Greatest Hits commercial!

 

You guys like ELP? Prog Rock? Anyway, The Goose Is Loose web series continues with a fun episode about temping, Building 7, and drones. I shot this in a noisy part of town with my buddy Ken Robinson. I think we made it work in editing. It’s like… life sometimes. You just have to lean in and make people repeat themselves when you’re not paying attention. Act like it’s their fault. “What? I can’t hear you, speak up, don’t mumble! Sorry your story was so boring I stop listening… burn!” Oh geez, classic Goose bits. Miss da old days. I hope these young kids make act out comedy big again so I can stop temping. Also da military has lasers that can blow stuff up.

Da music is from Once Upon a Time in America and played by Zamfir and his awesome pan flute. This guy is legend and had one of da best commercials on TV for his album ever. Crank it:

 

Now things get really weird, like Ghostbusters weird. This was filmed in Central Park at Cleopatra’s Needle. It’s an ancient Egyptian obelisk. Da other one is in the U.K., I guess. At one time, they stood together in a magical land and now it’s in my web series. Crazy! My friends Tony and Ben play in a sick band called New Beard. Check them out.

If you’re like “what the hell’s going on here?”, I’m using frequencies to open a portal to contact a Djinn. Da special effects cost millions. Not really, but I’m happy I didn’t have to really make a deal with da devil to pay for this. Instead, I used what imagination I have left. That IS what makes us different from animals: imagination and da spirit of creativity. Too bad we can’t use this power to make a better world and society where we don’t have to work for companies, other than farm food, build shelter, and enjoy life, da earth, and stuff. Am I right? Like I say in da episode, it’s probably going to all fall apart and we’ll have a chance to make a change from the top down. No b.s. Majority rules. Da curtain will fall and we’ll see da true structure of our world. TV is da spell that shapes your world, man. You should watch web series instead. Sorry… stoner talk. LOL. Stay tuned!

 

BONUS VIDEO: Outtakes and bloopers!

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Sequels, am I right? Welcome to part two of Da Goose adventures. This first episode is a special one. Here, I meet up with a special doctor to find a mind control drug for a “reality TV” experiment. You know how reality TV is mostly scripted and da producers edit da show together after staging scenes? “Producers” set up “Actors” to create events that will shape da “show”, or “news” if you will. That happens in real life too.

Da drug’s official name is MK Ultra. Sounds cool, am I right? Well, I made a deal with Idiot Demon to start WWIII so I can get my own TV show. Why wait around to for Russia, North Korea or Iran to start it, when you can do it yourself and blame it on them, am I right? USA!

This episode stars my buddy Jeremy Allen, who recently passed away. Please contribute to this FUND to help others. He turned me on to da band X Japan. They were like the Guns & Roses of Japan in da ’90s.  I used a bit of their song “Art of Life” (which is 30 minutes long!) in this episode. Jeremy liked that song because he was a great piano player himself and there’s a cool solo featured in the song. I’m really bummed he’s gone. I’m gonna miss you man. I hope you are jamming with da X Japan guys in the sky. Thanks for being in my web series and all da late night chats, sorry we couldn’t hang one last time. Art of life!

 

I’m not a huge fan of hipster bars but this one is famous for being friendly to old snow nose’s like myself. Plus, I wanted to see what da kids are up to and see if I’m still a hip cat. I think da bartender dug my threads and rap. Yeah, I still got it, am I right? Da drugs I tested for my “Reality TV” event are starting to play with my head a little too. I guess most drugs have side effects these days, why would you take a sleeping pill that gives you glowing butterflies? Burn!

The song at the end is by Crosby, Stills and Nash from their 1982 comeback album. Here’s a great clip of them from that tour. And check out Crosby’s coke eyes at 1:49, yikes!

 

Ok, I don’t remember making this episode. I think I interviewed comedian/musician/WFMU radio host Dave Hill, but I can’t recall. I was back on the chop after da Hipster bar and kinda let it get da best of me. I can’t tell if Dave thought I was funny or not, I did some pretty funny bits and kept the energy high. That’s da secret to great ’80s comedy: high energy! Use it, don’t abuse it. Plus, a great puppet act like Grandma Baby is a crowd pleaser. It’s da mind of a old women in the body of a baby! A classic switcharoo movie plot and way better than Vice Versa! Am I right?

 

You guys like prog rock? In da second-to-last episode, I hooked up with Idiot Demon to help him with his solo album but Idiot Cop followed us into da 4th Dimension to Idiot Demon’s studio and made a mess. Idiot Demon gave him some drugs and Idiot Cop realized that he was part of a racist system of oppression aka “stop and frisk”. Support your local police department, am I right? Da cop and demon are played by members of da crack prog rock band Edensong. Roll a bone and check ’em out!

I personally don’t mess with da devil but if you do, don’t be surprised when it all goes south, ’cause whatever you take from da universe, it will take back ten times over. Karma, baby!

 

“Cat’s in da cradle and the silver spoon, I’m gonna be just like you, Dad. I’m gonna be just like you…”

In da final episode of Season 2, I set up Goose Jr. by giving him some of Dr. J’s mind control drugs so he can start World War 3 and I can get my TV show from Idiot Demon… or do I? Maybe Da President is a robot I control with my mind, or it’s all an illusion that I dreamed it up while I slept? Does it matter? Da guys that wrote Lost just made it up as they went along and got paid big smackers. Come on, Hollywood! Throw me some cash. I’ll bring in the viewers. This website almost crashes every time I post something on it! For real, dawg. Make some money off me. I’m sick of working this temp gig. You can keep da DVD rights, just give me da merch rights and we’re good! Look for “Goose Juice” in store near you soon in six fun flavors including  “Rockin’ Red”, “Purple Passion” and “Groovy Grape.” Suck it down and change da world!

 

Enjoy these fun outtakes and deleted moments. Thank you again for watching and look for season 3 this year. Special thanks to Mo and The Experiment Comedy. You guys rock. Never give up! -Gman

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