ORIGINAL POSTED ON FRIDAY, AUGUST 22ND, 2014: Every Friday, The Experiment Comedy showcases comedians you should be following on Twitter. In this week’s edition of ‘Why Aren’t You Following?’, we proudly present to you the Tweets of writer and humorist Danielle Sepulveres!
Danielle Sepulveres is one of our favorite people in the universe, and it’s not just because she’s a contributor to The Experiment Comedy. According to her Author’s Bio on our site, she “is an author, a memory collector, an unsung hero in Hollywood, and a fool for love, Fran-isms and The Good Wife.” In addition to doing the Lord’s work here, she has written for esteemed online publications such as XOJane, Dirty & Thirty, and HelloGiggles.
She published her first book in 2011 titled Losing It: The Semi-Scandalous Story of an Ex-Virgin, an autobiographical tale involving sexual exploration and health scares that can leave one sleepless at night. The book led Danielle to tour the country, from Harvard University to The Kinsey Institute, to spread the message of living a healthy (as in: take care of your body, young people!) yet still fulfilling sex life.
Danielle is also an actress, appearing on the aforementioned The Good Wife, as well as in the short films Actually Love and No Offense, both of which she also wrote and produced.
And now, without further ado, here are some of our favorite Tweets from Danielle’s feed:
Milk Bar crack pie. Kissing Spot in Union Square. Whiskey on the rocks. A homeless man calling me an uppity bitch. #justanotherNYCnight
— Danielle Sepulveres (@ellesep) August 22, 2014
Ran into an ex-boyfriend and his pregnant wife on Park Ave. Him: Oh heyyyy Me: Heyyyy Her: Um hi? Awkward silence — Danielle Sepulveres (@ellesep) August 21, 2014
Only a really terrible person would mix Skittles and M&Ms in a candy dish
— Danielle Sepulveres (@ellesep) August 21, 2014
If you think New Yorkers are rude, you’re probably a tourist who did something dumb during commuting hours — Danielle Sepulveres (@ellesep) August 21, 2014
Remember in high school guys who drove fast and reckless were so fun? And now it’s just “I will be so angry if I die in this asshole’s car.”
— Danielle Sepulveres (@ellesep) August 19, 2014
I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t sleep with a glass of water on their nightstand — Danielle Sepulveres (@ellesep) August 18, 2014
I hate to use the word “never”. But I am really never ever ever ever gonna wanna play Candy Crush.
— Danielle Sepulveres (@ellesep) August 18, 2014
When I’m being a lady I walk down the streets of NYC eating gelato. When I feel like a broad I eat a Chipwich. — Danielle Sepulveres (@ellesep) August 16, 2014
Tip for guys. If a girl hasn’t answered your texts in months, posting on my-um I mean her-Facebook page won’t help
— Danielle Sepulveres (@ellesep) August 15, 2014
Everyone in NYC looks annoyed when it’s raining. Everyone in LA looks like they’re witnessing the apocalypse. — Danielle Sepulveres (@ellesep) August 13, 2014
Follow Danielle on Twitter RIGHT NOW: @ellesep!